Resource Review: Hot Button: Sexuality
Nicole O'Dell is coming out with a series of books in a series called “Hot Button.” In this book, she talks about proactive parenting interventions that parents can use and gain insight into several areas. In this book, she talks about Sexuality.
O'Dell uses role playing exercises to help her kids understand good and bad choices in the safety of the home before answering the same exact questions in real life. (I think this is a good idea, it is one that is used routinely in professional counseling.) She seeks to educate parents on hot button issues and then help them plan ways of dealing with these temptations.
In her sexuality hot button issue, she talks about myths such as insulation (Keeping them out of the world in order that they aren't exposed to any sexual message or idea before they get married) (Good luck with that…) Peer pressure, physcial desire and media are potent weapons that the adversary uses against us and our children.
She explains “The Game” very well. She aptly talks about the parents need to protect their kid, and the kids' desire to hide what they know about sex from their parents as well. The only way to win this game is to open the lines of communication on the parents end so the teens get what is going on and they feel more comfortable opening up.
You can tell by how much and what she writes that she cares about what she is talking about and isn't bashful about sharing what needs to be said. She uses the stepping stone approach to sexual intimacy, which has been reported on for years and found in many places both secular and christian. I'm happy she talks about it and engages it.
I'm concerned that while she labels homosexuality as a sin, she doesn't seem to offer parents much advice on how to build a relationship with their teen and others in the light of this. This is most likely an area that could be improved upon, but also feel that she should have put some bullet points in on what first steps should be when your teen child comes out.
I appreciate the strategic scenarios, but another thought it is, what if your kids just spout of the answers they know you want? I don't think this is a failsafe (not saying she does either) but I think we should keep in mind that talking about it is much better than putting your head in the sand and ignoring passively the obvious.
Overall, This is a good book, filled with content that will help the parent make better choices in how to talk to their teens about sex. (Preteens also).