BOOK REVIEW: How to really Love your Adult child.


How to Really Love Your Adult Child is a great book written by Ross Campbell and Gary Chapman (also wrote the Love Language series of books). In this short, yet detailed read, Campbell and Chapman engage a major problem happening not only in the church but in secular society as well. From my experience as a social worker, working across the age spectrum, it is evident that parents often have a difficult time adjusting to life with their children after they have become adults.

They discuss what normal young adulthood is currently looking like and emphasize parental support for their children while maintaining healthy boundaries for those they have reared. They discuss in almost every area the range of emotions and responses that both sides are feeling and reacting to, ranging from defensive to aggressive responses.

Chapman and Campbell also discuss negotiation in several areas, including when children come home after they have left the nest. They do well in breaking apart two groups those who fail to thrive on their own (maybe depressed) and those who come home with a strategy in place. Not only do these authors discuss difficult junctures, but they also discuss the more normal ones, such as empty nest, independence, building an adult relationship, becoming an in-law and a grandparent.

The only concern I have is that this book, while it does talk about drawing that line, seems to minimize how difficult it is to do that sometimes when you already have made choices towards enabling your children. They talk about how to do it, but could spend more time talking about moving around the defense mechanisms that they will face, the hostility, anger, resentment, etc that most likely will come from an overly-dependent child.

I would highly recommend this book for parents who are expecting their kids to leave the house soon, and professionals who come into contact and care for adults and adult children.


I received this book free from Moody Publishers as part of their Blogger Review Program. I was not required to write a positive review. The opinions I have expressed are my own.

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